Leadership isn’t about titles, suits, or being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about what you do when no ones watching, when the pressure is on, when the plan’s gone to shit, when others quit and when people are looking at you to do something. That’s when the real leaders step up.

I’ve seen this first-hand.

I wasn’t born a leader.

I became one through experience, mistakes, and adversity.

As a Royal Marines Commando, I learned that leadership isn’t about barking orders—it’s about setting an example. You lead by showing people what’s possible, even when you’re broken, battered, bleeding, and unsure what happens next. For me, that moment came in Afghanistan when I stood on an IED. I lost both my legs and my right arm. One second I was on patrol with my team, the next I was lying in the dirt, bleeding to death and fighting for my life.

In the aftermath of that chaos, I had a choice. I could play the victim—or I could lead. Not for a squad anymore, but for my family, my fellow amputees, and eventually for the thousands of people who now follow my journey.

That’s the real test of leadership—what you do when everything’s been stripped away and you’ve been knocked on your ass.

So what does real leadership look like when life hits hard? Here are the lessons I’ve learned:

Control the controllables

When you’ve suffered a life changing injury or some form of extreme trauma, you realise how little you can actually control. But there are always things you can—your attitude, your actions, your standards. Every morning in rehab, I had a choice: give up or get up. I chose to focus on what I could do, not what I’d lost. Leaders don’t get distracted by chaos. They zero in on what can be done now—and they get on with it.

Communicate clearly, especially when it’s uncomfortable

Whether you’re leading a team, a family, or just yourself—say what needs to be said. Don’t sugar-coat. Don’t bullshit. The concept is simple, but it’s not always easy. People don’t always like honesty, especially in hard times, but it’s necessary. In the military, lives depend on clear comms. In civilian life, trust depends on it.

Lead from the front—but stay human

I push hard. I expect high standards. But I’m also honest when I struggle. Leadership isn’t about pretending to be bulletproof—it’s about showing that even those in positions of leadership and responsibility struggle, fall and have to get back up. When I speak on stage or coach someone one-on-one, I don’t try to be perfect. I just try to be real. That’s what inspires people: authenticity, not invincibility.

Build others up along the way

One of my proudest roles today is as a coach and mentor. I help others find that fight inside themselves. And that’s the difference between a boss and a leader—a boss demands. A leader develops. Whether I’m helping someone on stage, in the gym, or on a Zoom call—they get me. Raw, honest, experienced. And they get belief. Because sometimes, all someone needs is one person who sees their potential before they do.

Stay mission-focused—but adapt fast

Plans fail. Life changes. People fall away. You still have to keep moving forward. Leadership is about staying focused on the mission but being smart enough to pivot when needed. I’ve had to reinvent myself over and over—Chubby kid, Royal Marine, triple amputee, speaker, author, coach, husband, dad. Each version of me was built with the same mindset: adapt and overcome.

Final thought: You don’t need a uniform to lead You don’t need rank, medals, or a stage to lead. You just need the courage to go first. To make the tough call. To show up even when it’s hard. That’s what real leadership is. And if you’re reading this and life’s hitting you hard—good. That’s your opportunity. That’s your battlefield. That’s your time to step up. You’ve got more in you than you realise. And I’m living proof that no matter how bad it gets, you can rise, lead, and live without limits.

Ready to take the lead in your own life? Join me at Kaizen Summit or check out The 1% Mindset journal to start building the discipline and resilience it takes to lead from the front—every single day.